A Seeker

"The power of changing oneself lies not in the mind, but in the body and the feelings. Unfortunately, however, our body and our feelings are so constituted that they don't care a jot about anything so long as they are happy. They live for the moment and their memory is short. The mind alone lives for tomorrow. Each has its own merits. The merit of the mind is that it looks ahead. But it is only the other two that can 'do.'" Gurdjieff, View from the Real World, p222

Rodney Yee and the Heart Chakra

Rodney Yee - "The Heart Chakra" from Omega Institute on Vimeo.

I came across this link on Twitter to a short interview with the yoga teacher Rodney Yee. It brought up the memories from almost 20 years ago of a weekend retreat of his that I attended. I have a number of memories of the yoga sessions, but one of the stronger memories was of something that happened outside of the sessions. The retreat facility was rather rustic and you had to park your car on one side of a very deep ravine and then cross a suspension foot bridge carrying your stuff. The bridge swayed with each step and I was petrified as I crossed. I think I must have pictured the return crossing more than once during the weekend. At some point during the weekend some of us were over by the ravine and there was Rodney, standing in the middle of the bridge, getting it to sway as much as possible and laughing with the joy of it.

The memory of this fear brought up another fear memory. This time it was a log across a stream that had to be crossed to get from a campground to some abandoned hot springs tubs. Again, I was filled with the imaginings of falling. One day I decided to sit near the log and watch how other people made the crossing. It was very interesting to see the range of reactions. Some people were like me - crossing cautiously and fearfully. On the other extreme was a man carrying a beer in one hand and a baby in the other - just strolling across as if he were on a sidewalk. This range of reactions even extended to dogs! One dog refused to cross and had to be carried by its owner, another dog ran across without a second's hesitation.

I thought about how much of my life has been circumscribed by my fears. I was reading about fear in Ouspensky's The Fourth Way. He says, "You must understand that many things you ascribe to things outside you are really in you. Take for instance fear. Fear is independent of things. If you are in a state of fear, you can be afraid of an ash-try....You are afraid, and then you choose what to be afraid of....Fear is simply a certain state; it can be without any object. This shows how useless negative emotions are. We often invent objects for an emotion when the emotion is already there. Take envy, fear, suspicion. We think the emotion is produced in us by something outside, when in reality it is in us, we only look for an object afterwards, and in this way we justify it." The point that Ouspensky makes is that since the fears are inside of us, we can work with them. The trick, of course, is not to identify with them.

"Do not be overcurious nor waste time on things that attract your attention but are not worth it." Gurdjieff, Views from the Real World p59

Gurdjieff & Struggle

"You need the substance that struggle will give you." Gurdjieff, Voices in the Dark p114

The quote above is from the transcript of one of the group meetings that Gurdjieff held in his apartment in Paris during World War II. The question that was put to Mr. Gurdjieff was "I don't see exactly what path to follow and what aim to have in view." Mr. Gurdjieff responds that one must "accumulate the results of struggle...struggle between your head and your animal." He tells the questioner to deny his body what it likes. 

What I find so amazing about this it that these students were living under great hardship. Everything was rationed. Electricity and gas was scarce and the winters of the Occupation were among the coldest on record. So it was a very hard life and yet Gurdjieff was telling his students to sacrifice more.

I try to keep this in mind when my animal is getting the upper hand. 

These transcripts are included in William Patrick Patterson's Voices in the Dark. He interleaves these transcripts with descriptions of what was going on with the war and what it was like to live in Nazi-occupied Paris.

Photo: A.D.N. Zentralbild (Berlin RDA)

Gurdjieff-"The results of work are in proportion to the consciousness of the work." In Search of the Miraculous p49

...the knee bone is connected to the thigh bone, the thigh bone...

In my last Alexander lesson Sherry noticed that there was something strange going on with my left leg as I walked. She discerned that there was a subtle forward movement of my left hip as I moved the left leg forward. This resulted in a contracting of the mid back on the right side - coincidentally, a spot where I have noticed a sensation of tightness for many years.

She had me practice walking with keeping the pelvis stabilized and beginning the movement by popping the knee forward. She also had me walk backwards for a while because it is much easier to keep everything correctly aligned and not mechanically fall into old patterns.

It all makes sense when you look at the structure of the hip joint. It is a ball-and-socket joint, with the head of the femur fitting into the pelvis at what is called the acetabulum, which means 'vinegar cup'. (Where do they get these names??)

Prayers & Music of G.I. Gurdjieff: Sacred Music of the Eternal Present

This CD has just gone on sale here . This is the first time the Gurdjieff/de Hartmann music has been accompanied by the singing of Gurdjieff's prayers. It was recorded live at two recitals in Washington, D.C. and in Baltimore. I was fortunate enough to be at the DC recital. It was worth the cross-country flight.

The prayers are from Gurdjieff's Legominism All and Everything and are sung by my friend Nancy Caporaso to music that she composed.

Here's a short review:

"Innovative and visionary. The prayer hymns are direct, unadorned and powerful, Nancy Caporaso's voice warm and resonant. Michael Dale's assured playing conveys a heartfelt affinity with the Gurdjieff music. Deeply vital music transmitted through the musicians with a special quality of attention that calls us to listen actively." —Mary Ellen Korman, A Woman's Work  

Gurdjieff and True Knowledge

Gurdjieff- "The acquisition or transmission of true knowlege demands great labor and great effort both of him who receives and of him who gives." Search p39

The Caboose aka the Sacrum

 

In continuing with this train image of the spine that I mentioned in the last post...I think of the sacrum as the caboose. The important thing about the caboose is that it shouldn't get in front of the engine. So I try to use the attention when walking or standing to see that the hips are aligned with the shoulders. This puts a lot less stress on the lower back. 

The word sacrum comes from the Latin word sacer, meaning sacred. So the sacrum is the sacred bone. Actually it is the fusion of 5 vertebrae. In the illustration above it is the triangular shape in the middle that connects to the hip bones, forming the infamous sacroiliac joint.  Though the sacrum is securely attached to the 'wings' of the pelvis, it does have some independent movement and can become misaligned. I first became interested in the sacrum when I began to experience pain near my left sacroiliac joint. I don't know for sure if it was misaligned, but something was definitely wrong.  I suspect the problem was due to inproper alignment in certain yoga poses. Or, maybe, it was too much slouching on the couch. But it was what brought me to The Alexander Technique. By learning the proper use of the body and by spending time each day in the wonderful 'semi-supine' position it feels like things are back where they should be.

Photos: Atlas of Clinical Anatomy, Artist: Terry Dolan

The Spine and Train Image

I'm working through Leland Vall's Alexander Technique manual, The Secret to Using Your Body. He has an image that I'm finding is very useful.  He says, "Think of your spine as a train with 34 cars, one for each of your vertebrae, with the engine at the top." You try to create as much space as possible between each of the cars.

Photo: asianoffbeat.com

Jung and the Red Book

 
 

Well, better late than never. Any blog about self-exploration that is worth its weight in pixels should have a post on the publication of Jung's Red Book.

Although I must have read about Jung in college (actually, I think I minored in Psych) I really didn't understand what he was about. It wasn't until decades later and I read Eating the 'I' by William Patrick Patterson that I got an inkling of how art can be used as an exploration of archetypes. The inside covers are an art gallery of his paintings. He writes, "The images appeared in dreams, in meditation, or would suddenly appear on the canvas. What did they have to say? What did they mean? All I knew was I wanted to pain them as fearlessly as I could. I say 'fearlessly' because through the medium of painting I felt I had taken a deep dive into the subconscious and I didn't want to spoil the connection by 'civilizing' them. I found myself, what I took to be myself, taken up into the mystery of painting, the experiencing of 'being painted through,' rather than the 'me' who was painting. To give these inner images the freedom to surface, that which took itself as 'the painter' had to step aside, become passively active. Painting in this way consciousness transcends the physical plane and, stepping out of psychological time, 'enters' the painting. In this merger the only content in consciousness is the process of painting itself. The ensuing silence allowed subconscious images to manifest. The connection strong enough, the images spoke, not in words but in their manifesting form and presence. They were not always pretty. Self-sincerity was demanded. Otherwise, the channel might close."

I have some of Patterson's images in my Art Gallery (see the panel on the left). I've also added some paintings from my friend Bruce Freedman that show some of his inner journey. 

The Red Book will be on exhibit at the Rubin Museum of Art until January 25.

Here's the New York Times article with the history of the book. 

Gurdjieff's Stop Exercise

I imagine this as God doing Gurdjieff's Stop exercise.

You can read about the exercise in In Search of the Miraculous pg 352.

"A man cannot awaken by himself." Gurdjieff, In Search of the Miraculous p143

"How would you separate your own from what is not your own?" Gurdjieff, In Search of the Miraculous, p248

"A man may be a man while working with machines. There is another kind of mechanization which is much more dangerous: being a machine oneself." Gurdjieff, In Search of the Miraculous p.18

For a thorough exploration of the challenge of our technological age see William Patrick Patterson's Spiritual Survival in a Radically Changing World-Time.

"I am my burden - that is what I am meant to carry." The Notes of Jane Heap p12, a student of Gurdjieff
For a review of The Notes of Jane Heap see   The Gurdjieff Journal

"Knowledge begins with the teaching of the cosmoses." Gurdjieff, In Search of the Miraculous p 205

Internal Space - Gurdjieff and the Alexander Technique

I I have recently been working with the Alexander Technique concept of creating space within the body. I've been trying to remember to soften the front of the ankles and the legs so that the legs can float upwards from the feet.

My mind connected from this to Gurdjieff's concept of inner considering. The connector was 'space.' Space in the ankle joint and space in my head brain if I could stop the inner considering. Inner considering has a number of different forms, but the one that I seem most predisposed to is being invested in (which Gurdjieff calls identification) what other people think of me. 

I squander a tremendous amount of energy on the guesswork involved in this and the accompanying inner chatter. Just as I waste energy on contracting the muscles around my ankle joints.

I have this image of myself - a mental, self-portrait - that I have spent years (all my life, actually) painting and retouching. I present it to people hoping that they will believe it to be an accurate likeness. The refining and presenting of this self-portrait requires constant effort. The effort is mostly below the level of consciousness, as is the contracting of the ankles. I am so used to doing it, so practiced at doing it, that I am not even aware of the process. In talking to people I take note of their reactions, pay attention to their tone of voice, to what they say and don't say in response. I discern the respect and interest they give or don't give.

So I write this post as an assist to bring this functioning into the light of consciousness. I offer myself some choices. Contract or soften? Inner chatter or silence?

Photo: The Princess Grace Hospital.

Nine Essential Questions That Gurdjieff Answered

1. Why are we here? What is the purpose, if any? What is my responsibility?
2. Why is there a universe at all? Why something and not nothing?
3. How did the universe come to be?
4. What are its laws?
5. Who am I? Philosophically? Psychologically? Somatically?
6. Is there a possibility of real and lasting change?
7. What does it take for this to happen?
8. What is the payment?
9. What happens at physical death?

www.Gurdjieff-Legacy.org

Gurdjieff Seminar - December - Sunny Florida

Awakening to One's Real Self
The Gurdjieff Approach

Friday, December 18 to Monday, December 21, 2009
Delray Beach, Florida
30 minutes from the W. Palm Beach and Fort Lauderdale airports

Through guided meditation, Conscious Body-Breath Impressions™, dialogue and private interviews, William Patrick Patterson explores the theme. Open to all levels of simplicity. No previous experience necessary.

Because space is limited and past seminars have filled quickly, please make your reservation early. The total cost of tuition, lodging (double occupancy) and meals is $475 with reservations received by December 1, 2009. Afterward, the cost is $575. Space is reserved with a deposit of $275.

To reserve a place, send your deposit by mail or reserve electronically below. There is a small surcharge when using the latter.

To reserve a place by mail, send a check made out to Arete Communications to the following address:

Arete Communications
773 Center Boulevard #58
Fairfax, CA 94978-0058

If you have questions, email us at: Introduction@Gurdjieff-Legacy.Org or call (800) 470-3086